More on the theory of historical relativity

Just as it was difficult for a lot of people to accept the discovery that spacetime is curved, it is difficult for some people to accept the scientific report of my previous post. To assist in this regard, I will take questions.

Q: What about the legions of facts that substantiate al Qaeda’s culpability in the September 11 attacks? Haven’t numerous intelligence agencies inside and outside of the United States documented reams of evidence that all establish the conclusion that al Qaeda planned and organized the attacks beyond any reasonable doubt? Hasn’t Osama bin Laden himself on repeat occasion claimed responsibility for the attacks of that day? Are you telling me that these facts, too, can turn on or off depending on one’s position in spacetime?

A: Yes. That is the power–dare I say the majesty–of the theory. It traverses chains of factuality backwards into history as far as it needs to.

Q: According to that poll, 43% of Egyptians report that Israel was behind the September 11 attacks. Why on earth would Israel mastermind a plan to destroy American cities and murder thousands of Americans?  Doesn’t the United States supply Israel with billions of dollars in foreign aid, military technology, warm good will, etc?

A: The correct question is not “why on earth” but “where on earth”. 43% is very roughly half of Egypt. So in half of Egypt, let’s say north of Cairo, it may be a fact that the United States has been sending Israel billions of dollars in foreign aid, but south of Cairo, the United States has actually been sending them billions of forced subscriptions to magazines published by American Media, Inc.

Q: Did the Holocaust really happen?

A: Are you standing in or out of Tehran?

Q: Have we been able to map out the complete factuality patterns of any historical statements?

A: We have been able to determine that the statement “George W. Bush won the 2000 United States Presidential election” is a historical fact across most of the mainland, but is less likely to be a fact when you are in close proximity to either the east or west coast. The factuality pattern of this historical statement apparently has something to do with oceanic coastlines, although we are not sure why.

Q: I think you’re making all this up!

A: The factuality pattern of the statement “Den of Hydralisks made all this up” is as yet unknown.

Q: What practical applications of this science can we look forward to once we fully comprehend the laws governing it?

A: I’m planning on going some place where it is fact that I once ruled the entire world, personally. I’m curious to see how much damage I did.

Einstein’s general theory of historical relativity

Did you know that historical facts can actually change depending on where in the world you are? It’s true, and the phenomena is fascinating. It may be close to the kind of thing Richard Feynman was getting at with his concept of multiple histories.

Consider a Reuters global opinion poll in which respondents were asked who was responsible for the September 11, 2001 attacks in the United States.

The survey of 16,063 people in 17 nations found majorities in only nine countries believe al Qaeda was behind the attacks on New York and Washington that killed about 3,000 people in 2001.

In Europe, al Qaeda was cited by 56 percent of Britons and Italians, 63 percent of French and 64 percent of Germans. The U.S. government was to blame, according to 23 percent of Germans and 15 percent of Italians.

Respondents in the Middle East were especially likely to name a perpetrator other than al Qaeda, the poll found.

Israel was behind the attacks, said 43 percent of people in Egypt, 31 percent in Jordan and 19 percent in the Palestinian Territories. The U.S. government was blamed by 36 percent of Turks and 27 percent of Palestinians.

In Mexico, 30 percent cited the U.S. government and 33 percent named al Qaeda.

Now we have known for a long time that facts can change depending on the observer’s state of motion. What we are beginning to learn is that motion seems to have little to do with it. Facts just seem to change depending on which patch of the earth you are standing on at the moment.

What is not fully understood is the mechanism by which this occurs. I have heard top physicists postulate the existence of some kind of dynamic and invisible field, not unlike the electromagnetic field, which toggles historical propositions on or off according to laws which are not yet evident to us. If this hypothesis turns out to be valid, it may begin to explain many strange anomalies that have baffled observers, such as the way in which basic facts about who started what war for what reason change completely according to one’s present geographic location.

For example, the proposition “North Korea fought a defensive war in response to the invasion by the United States and South Korea past the 38th parallel on June 25, 1950” becomes factually true when you are standing in the geographic region which lies between Russia and South Korea.

Much research needs to be done before we are able to crack the mystery conclusively, but one thing is clear — this is an exciting new area of scientific inquiry that everyone will want to pay attention to.

No better way to spend the next 4 minutes

Pet Shop Boys Liberation

And why stop there?

Pet Shop Boys Yesterday When I was Mad – The setting is appropriate.

Pet Shop Boys Can You Forgive Her? – They might be asking the wrong question.

Pet Shop Boys Go West – By now this should all be looking perfectly normal to you.

Pet Shop Boys I Wouldn’t Normally Do This Kind of Thing – Watch for a Mortal Kombat segment in the middle!

The greatest blog

The greatest blog ever to grace the internet can be found at http://realterrorists.blogspot.com/. It is titled simply “The American Dream”.

This blog began and ended on July 3, 2005. It has only one post, and it only needs one. The writing achieves an elegance the Den has sometimes striven for. The author is clearly an astute student of history. His ideas are profound and original. He draws on a wide knowledge of literature to support them by citing verses from history’s great poets such as Kurt Cobain. His artful use of all-caps could be considered poetic in itself.

No excerpt can do the piece justice, but below is a short one.

Here we are in the Twenty-first Century helplessly watching yet another Human Culture is “Oppressed” by a “White Suppremest Imperialistic Power”. Who’s country is the opposite of independent and who’s Rich illustrious lifestyle is nothing more than the “Spoils of War” A Nation that FORCES its POLITICAL GOALS upon another society through MILITARY POWER is called an Empire. And when its POLITICAL GOALS are RACIALY and FINANCIALLY motivated its called a “HATE CRIME” or WAR CRIME/CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY

(:sniffle: I always need a Kleenex when I get to that part)

“Read the whole thing” are words I do not use lightly, but if ever they applied…! I am certain you will be as impressed as I was, and perhaps it will change the way you think about the world, and about life. Perhaps you will even wish to add this superior link to your blogroll, as I am now considering.

You can’t win if you don’t play!

Richard Dawkins may think his reply to the question “What if you’re wrong?” is a clever one, but is it really? If religion is a raffle in which only the ticket with the winning number gets the prize, it seems the religious are holding one onto ticket more than Mr. Dawkins is! Granted, none of us can really say what prize we are playing for–72 virgins? eternal frolics in fields of lilies? a cordial handshake with Saint Peter? reincarnation as a believer of an altogether different religion?–but I am sure whatever it is is just nifty.

You do kinda feel bad for those poor souls who purchased their tickets during periods in the history of religion when the winning number was not even being handed out. If the Great JuJu at the Bottom of the Sea is the deity we should all be worshipping, everyone who lived before the Juju faith originated (not to mention homo erectus, homo habilis, etc, assuming species which went extinct before the raffle was invented are technically allowed to play) has a 0% chance of winning. The suckers!

But one thing that YOU should be absolutely confident–no, faithful–of is this. Out of the thousands?/tens of thousands?/hundreds of thousands? of numbers that have ever been sold in this sacred raffle, YOU were definitely born into a time, place, and culture where YOURS will be the number that wins it. That miniscule chance which you should be utterly certain of is definitely something to build one’s life around. So be sure to pray without ceasing, kindle no fire throughout your habitations upon the sabbath day, etc, or however the accident of your birth dictates you should worship.

Now what do we do about all those people cheating to increase their odds?

An inconvenient question

From zombietime

My recent family history

Zerg play report

What was kind of surprising was how far one had to progress to whip up a couple Hydralisks and make them useful. The unit had always felt a little overpowered in the original StarCraft, but Blizzard looks to be limiting their effectiveness by way of high cost, long tech progression and a more widely spread tech tree.

Looks like I’ve been downgraded. Or is it an upgrade?

Educational site of the day

Anyone looking for excellent reading material should stroll over to The Heretical Press Directory, a repository of writings by Simon Sheppard and his pals. Just click on a random essay and start reading! Amusement–and enlightenment–is all but guaranteed.

Georgia: It’s really quite simple

The clearest, sharpest commentary on the Georgia situation is surely coming from one of the great publications of our time. Yes, I’m speaking of Pravda.

World Opinion Favors Russia – Winning the Media War

Even Americans are saying, “Thank you Russia for standing up to the crackpots in control of our government.”…

…Their all too numerous outlets are pummeling the world community with distortions, trying to shove the castor oil of the empire down our collective throats, but the gag reflex is well intact and their lies remain unpalatable.

Condoleeza Rice, What is Wrong With You?

Are you hysterical or what? Having a difficult menopause? How many times do we have to tell you, Russia calls the shots these days. So keep your hysterical whining to yourself and stop reiterating the same thing time and time again. Russia will withdraw from Georgia when it sees fit. And if it doesn’t see fit, it won’t. Russian troops will move around Georgia for as long as they like. As and when they like. As and when they choose.

Is Condoleeza Rice stupid?

OK her boss is, we all know that and that’s why nobody pays any attention to what he says or if they do, it is to have a good laugh at how such an imbecile could supposedly rule the roost in Washington (when everyone knows it is Cheney and his energy and arms lobbies). So Bush gets a discount, like the uncle that farts at family dinners, like the retarded nephew who belches swearwords after his third litre of Coke, like the simpleton that sits outside the church on Sundays begging for money informing everyone that he is an astronaut on Thursday afternoons.

Bush, Cheney and Rice; Hitler, Himmler and Goebbels

With what moral authority do these mainstays of the neoconservative, corporate elitist, greedy, self-interested Washington regime speak, when in their own closet there are skeletons labelled Abu Ghraib, Iraq, Guantanamo, mass murder, war crimes, illegal invasion, torture, illegal detention, disrespect for international law, denial of due process, rape…?

Up until now you might not have known what to think about Georgia. It might have seemed like a complicated affair, like there could be two sides to what’s going on, or that you might have to study the issue further, when in fact all you need to know to be educated on this episode of history in the making is that Bush is an uncle that farts at family dinners, Cheney is a rapist, and Condoleeza Rice is having a difficult menopause.

That should clear up that. Now back to cheering for our Olympic heroes.

I’m writing the screenplay for a Park Chan-wook film

I’m writing the screenplay for a Park Chan-wook film. The name of the film will be Sympathy for Korean Audiences. Here’s what I got so far.

—————————————————————————————————————

A man and a woman side by side are staring directly ahead at the camera. Their faces are without expression. Hold the shot for a full minute.

With the camera farther away, show the man and woman sitting on a bench. Hold the shot for a full minute.

The woman turns slowly to the man. She says, “Just one. It’s what you said, right?” (or some such line which explains nothing) The man does not reply.

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