You can’t win if you don’t play!

Richard Dawkins may think his reply to the question “What if you’re wrong?” is a clever one, but is it really? If religion is a raffle in which only the ticket with the winning number gets the prize, it seems the religious are holding one onto ticket more than Mr. Dawkins is! Granted, none of us can really say what prize we are playing for–72 virgins? eternal frolics in fields of lilies? a cordial handshake with Saint Peter? reincarnation as a believer of an altogether different religion?–but I am sure whatever it is is just nifty.

You do kinda feel bad for those poor souls who purchased their tickets during periods in the history of religion when the winning number was not even being handed out. If the Great JuJu at the Bottom of the Sea is the deity we should all be worshipping, everyone who lived before the Juju faith originated (not to mention homo erectus, homo habilis, etc, assuming species which went extinct before the raffle was invented are technically allowed to play) has a 0% chance of winning. The suckers!

But one thing that YOU should be absolutely confident–no, faithful–of is this. Out of the thousands?/tens of thousands?/hundreds of thousands? of numbers that have ever been sold in this sacred raffle, YOU were definitely born into a time, place, and culture where YOURS will be the number that wins it. That miniscule chance which you should be utterly certain of is definitely something to build one’s life around. So be sure to pray without ceasing, kindle no fire throughout your habitations upon the sabbath day, etc, or however the accident of your birth dictates you should worship.

Now what do we do about all those people cheating to increase their odds?


4 responses to “You can’t win if you don’t play!

  1. Great debunking of the Godless! I’m sure God smiles at your work.

  2. That’s what it’s all about 🙂

  3. I wish I wrote that, sir. *tips his.. eh… isn’t wearing a hat…*

  4. You took it off to pray, I hope.

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