Who to vote for

As election day rapidly approaches (only 422 long bore-ass days left!) many outlets will attempt to present a balanced analysis of the presidential candidates. At Den of Hydralisks we’re going to do better than that. We’ll tell you exactly who to vote for.

The person you should definitely vote for is Lee L. Mercer Jr., Democrat.

The reasons are compelling, although it may help a bit to be tipsy while you read them.

Hat tip to Baudrillard’s Bastard

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4 responses to “Who to vote for

  1. Can anyone tell me what this canidate is talking about? His word-smith skills have me in a loop like a plane heading for a large building. Speaking of wich, is he going to prove 911 was an inside job? PLANES CANT DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE! FIRE CANT MELT STEEL! You know, there are thousands of examples of worlds tallest strctures colapsing to unnatural trauma. This one was an obvious fake.

  2. PLANES CANT DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE!

    True.

    FIRE CANT MELT STEEL!

    You have a point.

    You know, there are thousands of examples of worlds tallest strctures colapsing to unnatural trauma.

    I can’t argue with that.

    This one was an obvious fake.

    But that would mean…….the CIA built the two towers as part of the setup?! Yesss, it’s all beginning to make sense…

  3. Dont forget, it was all so we could invade iraq. Even though we got side tracked in afganastan. Bushes’ whole plan failed. Lucky for him, saddam decided to defiy the un. Otherwise, he would have blown up the towers for nothing!

  4. But getting back to Lee L. Mercer Jr., won’t it be nice at last to have a president who doesn’t sound like a dorky 7th-grader every time he opens his mouth in public? Through the use of real-time translation software like the kind presumably utilized in creating his campaign website, Lee L. Mercer Jr. will please us all with his highly selective word choice and air of refinement.

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