In a more perfect world…

Those “jobs Americans won’t do” that illegals keep entering the country to take would include border security.

Pretty-looking people would always have pretty personalities. Ugly-looking people would always have… no, there would be no ugly-looking people.

In winter 1942, both Hitler and Stalin, pistol in hand, travel to Stalingrad to settle the dispute in person. Neither lives to tell the tale.

We are able to raise James Madison from the dead and ask him what such-and-such a clause in the Bill of Rights really means.

While he’s up and about, Madison re-earths some old buddies. John Adams announces he’ll be taking Ted Kennedy’s place on the Senate, George Washington announces he’ll be taking W’s place as Commander-in-Chief, Jefferson announces that maybe holding slaves was bad after all, and Ben Franklin entertains us all by playing his glass harmonica for a few minutes before going back to sleep. (all provided they haven’t decomposed too badly)

Spiders have six legs, not eight. Six legs I think I could deal with.

Esperanto is a neat idea which catches on with everyone.

The Jews find the lost Ark of the Covenant and whaddaya know, the thingie still works. It still shoots the flashy lethal rays of Divine and indiscriminate justice. They start putting it to use in the Mideast beginning with, oh, maybe Damascus and moving on through Baghdad, etc.

Gun control works in the way Leftists have in mind. (as opposed to the way psychopathic dictators have in mind)

Marxism works in the way Leftists have in mind. (as opposed to the way psychopathic dictators have in mind)

Religion works in the way God had in mind. (as opposed to the way, say, L. Ron Hubbard had in mind)

Failing that, God comes down to tell us once and for all that he doesn’t exist so that we can all get over it. I’d be cool with that too.

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4 responses to “In a more perfect world…

  1. I enjoyed reading this post. I would also enjoy reading a series of posts that explores one-by-one each assertion in this post.

  2. hotoffthepress

    On immigration…

    I shop at my neighborhood Wal-Mart store at least once a week and have yet to join the liberal, anti-Wal-Mart chorus on issues such as labor practices and monopolistic business practices. Today, however, I must chime in with an observation: It appears the world’s largest retailer has adopted the federal government’s half-hearted approach to border security for use in its stores nationwide.

    I learned about this phenomenon via an Associated Press article, Theft Rising at U.S. Wal-Mart Stores, published this morning. In the article, writers Anne D’Innocenzio and Marcus Kabel point out that Wal-Mart’s recent public disclosures include data that shows the company is experiencing an increase in losses — more than $3 billion worth — due to “shrinkage” (i.e., a combination of inventory losses due to shoplifting, employee theft, paperwork errors and supplier fraud) at its U.S. stores.

    Two of the root causes behind this increase in shrinkage, according to experts cited in the article, prompted me to write this post. Those root causes are:

    Wal-Mart’s highly-publicized decision last year to no longer prosecute minor cases of shoplifting in order to focus on organized shoplifting rings; and

    Reduced staffing levels, including security personnel.

    Sounds similar to the federal government’s strategy — or lack thereof — for safeguarding the nation’s borders:

    Congress authorizes construction of a 700-mile fence on the U.S.-Mexico border and then approves separate legislation to ensure it will never be built, at least not as advertised. [Source: An Oct. 6, 2006, article in the usually-liberal Washington Post]; and

    In addition to ensuring the U.S. Border Patrol remains understaffed, ill-equipped and hamstrung by rules of engagement that favor illegal aliens, the federal government unjustly convicts two U.S. Border Patrol agents, Ignacio Ramos and Jose Compean, and sentences them to a combined 23 years in federal prison for simply doing their jobs

    [For more info, read this Bob McCarty Writes™ post].

    Note to readers: If you own Wal-Mart stock, you might want to consider selling itNOW!*

    *No data or statement contained in the post above should be construed to be a recommendation for the purchase, retention or sale of the securities referred to herein, and Bob McCarty Writes™ accepts no liability for the consequences of your reliance on this data.

  3. The “jobs Americans won’t do” is a sore spot with me. I wrote about it yesterday…. Are you stealing my stuff??? 🙂

    Just kidding. I agree with that part (and more) of your post…

  4. Randy:
    I just looked at your blog now and of course I agree with you. The problem of border insecurity is real, but the “jobs no one will take” shlup is baloney. Which is why I search for a way to make it relevant 🙂

    hotofthepress:
    If Walmart is having problems with shrinkage have they tried Cialis?

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