From zombietime

Zerg play report：

What was kind of surprising was how far one had to progress to whip up a couple Hydralisks and make them useful. The unit had always felt a little overpowered in the original StarCraft, but Blizzard looks to be limiting their effectiveness by way of high cost, long tech progression and a more widely spread tech tree.

Looks like I’ve been downgraded. Or is it an upgrade?

Anyone looking for excellent reading material should stroll over to The Heretical Press Directory, a repository of writings by Simon Sheppard and his pals. Just click on a random essay and start reading! Amusement–and enlightenment–is all but guaranteed.

The clearest, sharpest commentary on the Georgia situation is surely coming from one of the great publications of our time. Yes, I’m speaking of Pravda.

World Opinion Favors Russia - Winning the Media War

Even Americans are saying, “Thank you Russia for standing up to the crackpots in control of our government.”…

…Their all too numerous outlets are pummeling the world community with distortions, trying to shove the castor oil of the empire down our collective throats, but the gag reflex is well intact and their lies remain unpalatable.

Condoleeza Rice, What is Wrong With You?

Are you hysterical or what? Having a difficult menopause? How many times do we have to tell you, Russia calls the shots these days. So keep your hysterical whining to yourself and stop reiterating the same thing time and time again. Russia will withdraw from Georgia when it sees fit. And if it doesn’t see fit, it won’t. Russian troops will move around Georgia for as long as they like. As and when they like. As and when they choose.

Is Condoleeza Rice stupid?

OK her boss is, we all know that and that’s why nobody pays any attention to what he says or if they do, it is to have a good laugh at how such an imbecile could supposedly rule the roost in Washington (when everyone knows it is Cheney and his energy and arms lobbies). So Bush gets a discount, like the uncle that farts at family dinners, like the retarded nephew who belches swearwords after his third litre of Coke, like the simpleton that sits outside the church on Sundays begging for money informing everyone that he is an astronaut on Thursday afternoons.

Bush, Cheney and Rice; Hitler, Himmler and Goebbels

With what moral authority do these mainstays of the neoconservative, corporate elitist, greedy, self-interested Washington regime speak, when in their own closet there are skeletons labelled Abu Ghraib, Iraq, Guantanamo, mass murder, war crimes, illegal invasion, torture, illegal detention, disrespect for international law, denial of due process, rape…?

Up until now you might not have known what to think about Georgia. It might have seemed like a complicated affair, like there could be two sides to what’s going on, or that you might have to study the issue further, when in fact all you need to know to be educated on this episode of history in the making is that Bush is an uncle that farts at family dinners, Cheney is a rapist, and Condoleeza Rice is having a difficult menopause.

That should clear up that. Now back to cheering for our Olympic heroes.

I’m writing the screenplay for a Park Chan-wook film. The name of the film will be Sympathy for Korean Audiences. Here’s what I got so far.

—————————————————————————————————————

A man and a woman side by side are staring directly ahead at the camera. Their faces are without expression. Hold the shot for a full minute.

With the camera farther away, show the man and woman sitting on a bench. Hold the shot for a full minute.

The woman turns slowly to the man. She says, “Just one. It’s what you said, right?” (or some such line which explains nothing) The man does not reply.

The woman continues to look at the man. Hold the shot for a full minute.

The woman gets up and walks off camera. The man does not move. Hold the shot for a full minute.

The man slowly turns his head in the direction where the woman went. Hold the shot for a full minute.

(Pretty good so far, eh? Here’s the next scene)

Show a side view of a young man and an old man facing each other in a deserted parking lot.

The old man quotes a line from The Count of Monte Cristo. (note to self: read The Count of Monte Cristo (or at least enough to find a quotable line))

The old man hands a small box to the young man. The young man simply stares at it. Hold the shot for a full minute.

He continues to stare at it. Hold the shot for a full minute.

The young man takes the box.

Show the young man’s face. He might be frowning. Hold the shot for a full minute.

Show the old man’s face. He might be smiling. Hold the shot for a full minute.

Show a shot of something irrelevant in the area, such as a telephone pole. Hold the shot for a full minute.

(Now, for no particular reason, we’re going go back to finish the previous scene. We could have finished it before since only 10 seconds were left, but we chose not to. Don’t ask us why)

Show the woman looking directly ahead, with the man still sitting on the bench behind her. The woman is looking at something off camera, but nobody knows what.

The man stands up.

The woman abruptly collapses.

(So as to maximize confusion, we will return to finish the other scene. People are sure gonna talk about this film!)

Show the young man and old man standing slightly apart. Do something fancy with the camera such as rotating 360° around the two of them.

(We’ll insert a sex scene here which adds nothing to the plot before moving on…)

Show a corpse’s eye view of a woman looking down at us.

The woman extends a high-heeled boot. We hear the sound of a groan.

Now change to a long-distance shot. The woman is kicking a body lying on the floor of an apartment. In the background the curtains are drawn and it is clear outside.

Show a letter opener lying on a desk. A hand grabs it.

Show the woman make a stabbing motion.

Again.

Again.

Show the bloody letter opener.

—————————————————————————————————————

This is coming along quite well, don’t you think? Still need to add the following things:

- At least ten more speaking lines, most of which will go to minor characters

- At least one more torture scene (note to self: be creative!)

- At least one scene with gratuitous nudity

- At least one plot development so manipulative that suspension of disbelief is irreparably damaged

- At least one character must do something shockingly violent to himself, such as saw off his own toes with a hacksaw

- In the ending, which will be very very tragic, the protagonist in his grief will bury his head in a bucket of shaving cream

Boy is this movie gonna own. I bet even Quentin Tarantino will want to see it!

edit: actually, this could just as well be a Beat Takeshi film, huh?

Yeah, I’m still AWOL but I will be back. Meanwhile, here’s some Mr. Deity.

This is for zugman.

edit: Due to personal health issues blogging will cease for awhile.

I’m tired of all these people in or working closely with the military speaking their minds on military matters. Get a load of this guy:

The war continues to abate in Iraq. Violence is still present, but, of course, Iraq was a relatively violent place long before Coalition forces moved in. I would go so far as to say that barring any major and unexpected developments (like an Israeli air strike on Iran and the retaliations that would follow), a fair-minded person could say with reasonable certainty that the war has ended.

Hold on here. Didn’t a certain US senator already declare failure in Iraq? Wasn’t the declaration made over a year ago? Is Michael Yon even paying attention to things??

Message to Michael Yon: Once in awhile you should step away from the field where the action is actually taken place and into the far rear echelons of politics back home,  where facts and first-hand observations can’t get in the way of popular memes and biases, and if you had done so you might have been able to learn that the war has long since been over, dood. We LOST it by congressional fiat.

Also worth stating is that while the senator who declared the surge in Iraq a failure received some criticism for doing so, the pronouncement was, if anything, too late. The proper time to declare a war effort a failure should be the moment when the first American body bag is filled. That’s how you teach our enemies not to mess.

Sudan is angered by genocide claims.

The Sudanese government has responded angrily after an international prosecutor accused President Omar al-Bashir of genocide in Darfur.

Well, Western civilization, what do you expect when you go barging in the front door of other nations’ homes haughtily telling them how to run their affairs? How would we like it if a North African nation shoved its nose into our business, picked said nose with its finger of scorn, and pointed at us the booger of blame?

What deeply worries me about the way we go on offending other nations like this is the senseless loss of trust and goodwill from those who never did anything to us. Is bickering and arguing over who committed genocide against who really the way to move forward?

A certain wise man once said, “Judge not that ye be not judged” — a clear call for an end to all punishment, justice, and even the very recognition that any action taken by any other person can ever be wrong. No one embraced his wisdom then and no one embraces it today. This country is brimming with self-righteous snoots who claim to follow the advice of that wise man, but who, were I to plant a garden sickle in their backs as they sleep, burn their houses down and murder their families, would accuse me of all manner of wickedness. If that isn’t hypocrisy then what is?